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(This has two different covers, one for goodreads and one for amazon sooo this is the one for amazon, and since I want to kill wordpress most of the time we are just going to keep this one up and leave the other down sorry!)

Summary via Goodreads:

““I’m looking out from inside the chaos. It must be a one-way mirror because no one seems to be able to see back inside to where I am. The looks on their faces, the judgment in their eyes, tells me everything I need to know. The most frustrating part about the whole messed up situation is that even though I’m the one that they stare at in shock, I am just as shocked as they are. I know no more than they do of why I lose control. What they don’t know is that I am more scared of myself than they could ever be.” ~ Tally Baker

After a devastating turn of events, seventeen year old Tally Baker is admitted to Mercy Psychiatric Facility where she is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. She has come to a place where she honestly believes that her life is over. Her mind tells her that she will never smile or laugh again, that she will never be normal again. It is in this unlikely place that she meets two people, different in every way, yet both critical to helping her realize that she has so much more living to do. Candy, a cantankerous sixty year old Mercy Psychiatric patient, is hell bent on driving everyone as crazy as she is. Candy shows Tally that, regardless of her diagnosis, the ability to push on and live her life to the fullest is her choice and hers alone. In the midst of Tally’s oftentimes humorous, sometimes heart-wrenching, escapades with Candy, a new patient is admitted to Mercy—a Native American woman named Lolotea. Along with this new patient comes a daily visitor, her son, Trey Swift. At first glance, it is obvious to Tally that he is incredibly handsome and unbelievably caring. But what she learns through her second glance, and many thereafter, is that there is much more to Trey than he ever lets on. It is during these daily visits that Trey and Tally build a friendship far deeper than either of them truly realize. With Trey, Tally feels for the first time since being admitted that someone is looking at her as a person and not as a disease. Trey begins to make it clear that he wants more than friendship, but she knows that she can never give him more. How can she, when she won’t even give him the truth? Tally doesn’t tell Trey that she is a patient at Mercy, and she doesn’t ever plan to. Her plans go up in flames when she finds out that Trey is a new student at her school, the school where her brokenness was found out in the floor of the girl’s bathroom in a pool of her own blood.”

My Review: (4 out of 5 stars)

“Once you go Quinn you ever go back…” that is the saying right? I am pretty sure that I am right about this. Well usually i am right about most things, sorry i do like to gloat ;). ANYWAYS! As a predominantly paranormal/fantasy/scifi slowly opening up to more comtemporary fiction, I had to read this because I mean its Quinn, come on guys, Quinn freaking Loftis (now i am mixing slangs…oops! for those who have read the Mythos Academy books) ANYWAYS! moving on…

Song choice… song choice… God i have been WAITING FOREVER TO bust this one out because it happens to be one of my most favoritest songs ever! “Wash.” by Bon Iver, now if you actually look the up the lyrics you’d like what the fu….dge….. but its the tone, and movement of the song. “Drunk Again” by Reel Big Fish…and not its not about an alcoholic! “Where is my Mind?” by the Pixies, annnnnddd i am going to throw this one in there though i haven’t obsessively listened to this song so i am not 100% sure if it works completely with this book “Just Give Me A Reason” by Pink (featuring the guy from Fun/the Format/Nate Ruess)

First thoughts: I thought that this was very Quinn style, that awesome mix of humor, lighthearted-ness with very serious, powerful moments. The reason it dropped a star for me though I suppose is that at times it was like i was waiting tooo long for the other shoe to drop, but honestly i blame that entirely on myself because i like things to keep moving, never stopping, just go go go go go go go go go, too many go’s? mayhaps. But when the other shoe dropped, damn did it drop. But while i know just a bit about bipolar disorder, i don’t actually have any friends with this disorder, nor am i close to anyone in my family that does have it that is a personal story i will keep all to myself thank you, anyways i know just a bit about it because when i started college oh i don’t know three years ago i fancied myself being a psych major for two seconds, and i mean seriously, what college kid doesn’t? so anyways from what i remember, from a class three years ago Quinn hit it spot on, and I really do think that for someone with limited experience with it like me that she did a really good job with it, explaining both sides of the bipolar disorder, and refraining from the stereotype that i labelled on my grandmother’s cat who seriously was all happy for two seconds then wanted to claw your eyes out the next, but i think that is how all cats are… i like dogs. i am getting off topic again dammit. Alright so Quinn’s research of the disorder, two thumbs up, i’d give you more but i only have to thumbs, if i was an alien i am sure i would be giving you 10 thumbs up.

Plot: So like i mentioned in my first thoughts where i started to ramble on and on and on, that there were points i was just waiting for something to happen but again that is me, i understand that there are times that there needs to be the calm. but what i did really like is that the moments with Tally who has the bipolar disorder is that its subtle done with her emotions you don’t really realize that you are spiraling downwards with Tally until its too late and suddenly you are stuck in emotions that are holding you completely down. Its hard to recognize the little changes, which is one of the things that i loved about this book it was very subtle, and not so abrasive with the change of emotions like most people would assume this disorder works, now i am not going to be pretend to be an expert like i said before i don’t have any friends with this disorder and i am not close to anyone in my family that does have it. So all i have is what Quinn gave me, and the little knowledge i have from a psych class i took in high school and in college. i am not a psych major so again i am not going to pretend to know more than i do. I like that this was in the POV of both Tally and Trey. I think that this gave it a better perspective on the outside, because honestly Tally is not the most reliable narrator, when i say that i mean can we truly trust everything she says or does, no because she doesn’t even trust what she does. Well done Quinn, well done ;). Anyways! There are a few predictable moments but its not any less painful to experience. This is a lot to take in, and while there is humor there, and the lighthearted characters there is a lot of pain and stress too.

Characters:

Tally: Like i mentioned not the most reliable MC ever but she was very well written and very likable in the sense that you wanted to kill her. I like how she was portrayed as much as you wanted to go in and punch her in the face and be like you deserve this, why can’t you see that?! while shaking her mind you. You know that its not so much her,her but her dealing with a disorder she just got diagnosed with, this isn’t something she has been coping with for years and she knows how to deal, she is learning as she goes. So bare with her, she is learning just like we are. Its hard to be in her mind sometimes because you really do want to yell and scream but it won’t do any good. She was written so that you can understand how her mind works not so that you can be like yeah she is totally awesome, and kickass, and nothing can touch her. Well peeps, we are all human on some basic level and we all have flaws so deal. Tally is 😉

Trey: I liked him a lot too because while he is a sex-God….what…. i didn’t say that… that is totally wrong…wait no its not he is 18 he is legal! YUP he is a sex-God. bwhahaha, anyways! While he is a sex-god, and like dream man he also has his flaws. He as a bit of a tempter and my god was that sexy as hell as long as its directed at someone else. He is very protective, if you have read Quinn’s Prince of Wolves series then well he would fit in perfectly with Fane, Dec, Costin (day dreams about him for about 20 minutes….) kay side-tracked again! So he is protective, kickass, and a total sweetheart. He does honest to god care about Tally and i am convinced this man isn’t real, even fiction real he is almost tooo perfect ;).

Candy: While there were moments i was like are you sure your name is not Jen (Grey Wolf Series) she did differ from her as well. I really liked Candy and i thought she was an excellent supporting character and she did a lot to help Tally.

Tally parents: um hated them for the first half of the book, i was surprised her mom was the first to turn to the dark side and actually you know start playing attention to her daughter, and i am still unsure on how i feel about her father, i don’t really like him to be honest.

So the ending, it was a good ending, while it was happy its not going to be the perfect happy ending where bipolar disorder has a sudden cure or anything but it was a good ending. And we will breathe, have a good day, do a victory dance and try again for the same the next day.

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